A Reactive Mindset is Dysfunctional

A person with a Reactive Mindset acts only as a response to other people’s actions, or in response to their environment and less from their sense of agency. This person’s outlook or frame of reference is about what he “should “do or is being made to do and not what he genuinely wants to do.

Blame, indecisiveness, victim-hood, people-pleasing, lack of responsibility, powerlessness, a belief that other people can make you feel certain emotions or force you to do something – are all core elements that makes up a reactive mindset.

A reactive person quietly hopes that things will align for them, or that others will help them, and they become resentful when this does not happen, and they resort to blaming others. A person with this mindset is waiting for others to determine their fate or they are sitting and complaining about what others have chosen for them. What this person does not see is that by complaining he is putting himself in a reactive mode; he is communicating to himself that he is not responsible, and he gives up his sense of agency in favour of someone else’s.

A reactive mind is characterized by over thinking, rumination, and “what-if “scenarios.

What is usually driving these mental activities are fear, avoidance, or the hope that someone else is going to come to the rescue.

To unsubscribe from a reactive mindset, we need to actively observe what causes us to feel anxious or out of control. Write these down in a journal, acknowledge how feel about them, and then take action by looking for solutions. If you find yourself focusing on something else that worries you, while doing this activity, write that down on a separate page and repeat the same process.

If we are lost in emotions, triggered and stuck in knee-jerk, automatic reactions – these are all signs that we are reactive. When this happens become mindful and consciously step away from your emotions for a few moments and take a look at the issue from a distance. Creating a psychological distance will encourage you to take a pause and reflect calmly. Creating psychological distance is one way we can separate ourselves from strong emotions and the content of our mental chatter. Without this mental distance, we will in all probability just take our own narratives as the absolute truth, which will lead us to failing to see any way out. This happens because panic and fear shrink our perspective and rob us of the ability to choose what is best for ourselves.

What could be the underlying causes for a Reactive Mindset?

In most case, not all it could be that the person has developed learned helplessness. Accordingly to the American Psychological Association, learned helplessness occurs when someone repeatedly faces uncontrollable, stressful situations where they believe they do not have control – and they do not exercise control when it does become available. They have learned that they are helpless in that situation and therefore no longer try to change it, even when change is possible, because they loose motivation.

Often learned helplessness has its origins in childhood.

When caregivers do not respond appropriately to a child’s need for help – the child may learn that they cannot change their situation. Learned helplessness in adults presents as a person not using or not learning adaptive responses to difficult situations. People with learned helplessness typically accept that bad things will happen and that they have little control over it, this person is also not so sure of his ability to handle challenges, as he does not believe, that anything he does is going to make a difference.

Early maladaptive schemas of rejection and disconnection; and impaired autonomy and performance may also play a role in a person developing learned helplessness.

Here are a few steps to “Unlearn” Learned Helplessness

1. Explore the origins of Learned Helplessness in your own life – a therapist or a life coach could guide you in this process.
2. Identify the automatic negative thoughts that are contributing to your sense of feeling powerless.
3. Work through the challenging emotions that these negative automatic thoughts might bring up.
4. Replace these dysfunctional thoughts with more realistic and balanced ones.
5. Work on setting healthy boundaries.