Uninvolved Parenting & Its Negative Impacts

• Do you recall your parent not spending much time with you when you were a child?
• Do you have memories of your parent ignoring your attempts to interact with him or her?
• Do you recall your parent showing little to no interest in your schoolwork and other activities?
• Do you recall your parent not expressing affection towards you?
• Do you remember feeling that you might be unwanted due to your parent being emotionally distant and aloof?

If you answered yes to more than three of the above questions, you may have been raised by an uninvolved parent.

Uninvolved Parents have little emotional involvement with their children. While they provide for basic needs like food and shelter, they are uninvolved for the most part in other areas of their child’s life. Uninvolved parenting is not just a moment of preoccupation with oneself. Rather it is an ongoing pattern of emotional distance between parent and child.

Some common ways in which uninvolved parenting manifests are :

• Ignoring their child when the child is upset or crying.
• Expecting their children to care for themselves.
• Not respecting a child’s interests.

Parents who exhibit an uninvolved parenting style were often raised by uninvolved and dismissive parents themselves. As adults, they may find themselves repeating the same patterns that they were raised with. Uninvolved parenting is often not intentional. In some cases, parents maybe so wrapped in their own problems like being overworked, struggling with substance abuse, coping with depression, that they may fail to see how uninvolved they are, or they may be simply unable to provide the emotional support their kids need.

Unfortunately, children of uninvolved parents generally do poorly in nearly every area of their lives. These children usually tend to display deficits in cognition, attachment, emotional skills, and social skills. These children receive little guidance, nurturing and discipline from their parents.

Oftentimes children are left to raise themselves and make decisions, big and small – on their own.

An emotional connection between parent and child come naturally for many people. But in the case of an uninvolved parent, this bond is not instinctual or automatic. The parent feels a disconnect, which severely limits the amount of affection and nurture they extend to their child.

Unless a child’s behaviour affects them, these parents do not usually offer any type of correction. They allow their child to act how they want, and they do not get upset when their child does poorly in school. It is true that children with uninvolved parents do tend to learn self-reliance and how to take care of their basic needs at an early age. But the drawbacks of this parenting style clearly outweigh the benefits.

If you think you may have raised by uninvolved parents, please do consider going to therapy. Talking to a mental health professional can help contextualize your own experiences and help you develop new skills that will guide you to build healthy bonds in your significant relationships as an adult.