True happiness does not come from suppressing negative emotions and touting “feel good” statements.

Learn to see emotions as tools or information rather than focusing only on how they make you feel. All emotions are functional and have a purpose, they are a signal to the person experiencing them and to the person being communicated to.

Negative emotions like anger, fear, guilt, shame serve us by alerting us to potential threat or danger, whereas positive emotions foster connection and well-being. Sometimes people may respond to our expression of an emotion in a way that is not helpful, not because they do not want to help but because they make assumptions about how they should respond, such as offering advice when advice is not solicited.

Let yourself feel your feelings

We often have excuses for not engaging with our complicated emotions – we say to ourselves we are too busy to deal with this, we don’t want to upset others, we don’t want to feel distress, and other reasons along these lines. Remember, your negative feelings will not go away unless you deal with them. So acknowledge them, try to understand where they are coming from, and think about what you can do to address them. It is important not to prioritize positive emotions over negative ones. All emotions offer you useful insights about how you are doing and therefore are equally valid.

Here are 6 steps you can take to deal with Toxic positivity-

• Acknowledge unpleasant emotions – If you have got into the habit of labeling some of your difficult emotions as bad or wrong, please aim to create room for them in your mind which helps in processing them. Give yourself permission to cry or talk openly about your worries and fears with a trusted friend or family member and try to name the emotion as well.

Work towards developing a more supportive and validating way of talking to yourself about your feelings. Emotions can be quite complex and there is nothing wrong with having mixed emotions about a situation. In fact, the more complex the situation the more complex the emotions you are going to experience. By doing this, feelings like anger, sadness, fear will start to look less frightening and will become useful signposts that show you what you need to explore.

• Recognize when you are thinking Toxic Positive thoughts - Toxic positivity is all about over simplification and generalization which sounds like – Choose to be happy! Just think positively! Look on the bright side! All of this sounds simple, but it is not applicable when we find ourselves in some complicated and complex challenges that come our way.

 Accept Other people’s emotions - Listen to people who share their feelings with you and don’t shame them for it. Focus on being validating and supportive instead of being judgemental and patronizing. Avoid trying to fix or change their feelings. Avoid using platitudes or cliches that may not be relevant or helpful.

 Develop an attitude that says “ Its OK to not be OK “- Instead of having a viewpoint that it is wrong to have negative feelings, accept that it isn’t realistic to be ok all the time.

 Look for meaning behind what you are going through – Searching for meaning behind difficult situations is the opposite of Toxic Positivity and is also considered an antidote to this type of response.

 Put your feelings into words – Maintain a journal daily in which you write your thoughts and feelings about everything you are dealing with in an unbiased, non-judgemental manner. This will give you greater clarity on processing and dealing with whatever it is that you are facing.