Thinking Habit

“Think, but do not make thought your aim “ – Source Unknown

Start paying attention to what you are thinking about during various times of the day- like when you wake up , while brushing your teeth, while driving to work etc. You are going to be surprised at how often some form of negativity come to mind. You would probably think – things that need to get done that you don’t want to do ; things that might happen; things that might not happen; things that other people said that bothered you etc. Thinking in this way is a habit like all habits, it was not formed overnight. It took years to develop and therefore it may take a little while to break the habit. We all have a great deal of self-talk going on in our minds that does not seem like anything because we are so accustomed to it.

If you can become conscious of the fact that you do engage in negative self-talk, then you can “wake up” to the fact that you are doing it, then you become aware you are engaging in counter productive thinking. Remind yourself frequently to drop your negative thoughts – don’t allow yourself to focus on them. Once you understand the root cause of your negative thoughts – where they come from, and what holds them in place, you can make a commitment to catch yourself while you are doing it.

Our minds review the past, our concerns and worries about the future, and we tend to speculate about how bad things could become. But if you engage in such mental activities without realizing what you are doing to yourself – you are going to be at the mercy of your own thinking. Once you understand and are able to witness this dynamic in action, you can then choose which trains of thought to follow and which ones to ignore. You will, in the process create a new habit of thinking only about those things that are truly useful to you and serve you in some way while ignoring the negative, unhelpful thoughts. This type of thinking is not denial nor is it apathy.

Instead, you are acknowledging the problems in your life, but you are simply choosing not to dwell on those aspects. Remember, your daily experience of life is directly related to where you choose to focus your attention. Gradually, as you learn to move your focus away from problems and concerns, you will find yourself noticing kindness and beauty and goodness in your life. In fact, this is exactly what kids do on regular basis. They live in the same world as adults do – it is just that they notice different aspects of life, they see humour, wonder, and compassion – this conscious act of choosing is very practical but it is not always easy. It does not just happen, you have to learn to think this way.

As your own negative thinking begins to sound loud and obnoxious, you will be less and less interested in continuing down that path, the result would be you will to turn off the negative self-talk you took for granted for so long. From generation to generation most of us have been taught that the past represents “what is “and that predicts our future. But the problem with this is that people start filtering their present moment through thoughts about the past. On the surface, almost all of us recognize that our past is over. However, very few of us internalize this realization deep enough to prevent the past from haunting us. What we need to realize is that we can learn a great deal from our past but we need not suffer today because of it.